Sometimes spam tastes yummers

9 Sep

Colourful, sickly sweet donuts

You may think I’m an idiot for saying so, but I actually enjoy reading most of the spam we get on our blog. Akismet runs most of the entries into the garbage pile, but I admit I scavenge there looking for molding morsels.

I have collected some of my favourites from the past few months and offer them up to you now as evidence that not all spam is without cerebrally nutritional value.

Oh my dear, that is a salient point. (A PVC manufacturer left that. Very working class.)

How pleasant to encounter you deeply in this most exquisite post. (From something called Albino Midget Amputee Porn.)

I’m interested now. Is there someone in your organization I can speak to further about this? (In response to the post entitled: So What’s New In The World of Dead Flies?)

I have been pondering this question for some time! (In response to Copeland Gets New Digs.)

On the contrary. (From someone selling Huge Natural B00Bs Road. Not a road I am personally going down just yet.)

A very cute post! My mom never allowed us to read posts. (In response to How To Withstand An Orc Attack On Your Business. Evidently Mom had no issue with the kids watching Uruk Hai rip the heads off peasant farmers and eat them.)

Your reputation precedes you. I enjoyed this post very much and think you should be considered an expert on the subject. Very excellent points especially in the 4th paragraph. I wonder if you would mind me sharing this? I can imagine you would have something intelligent to say about my latest blog post too. (A curtain and drapery online wholesaler, in response to A Simple Way to More Creative Brainstorms, which has only 2 paragraphs.)

I’m not sure, but I think my dog may have an extra limb. What should I do? (Thought I would finish with this excellent example of all that you are missing by NOT going through your spam box.)

There’s just a lot of really weird shit out there. Share some of yours!

A Japanese woman with long eyelashes

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13 Responses to “Sometimes spam tastes yummers”

  1. Stephan Rosger September 9, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    Bahaha “Albino Midget Amputee Porn”

  2. Doug Brown September 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

    I cancelled my subscription to his PPV channel.

  3. Michael Tension September 9, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    What’s funny about Albino Midget Amputee Porn? It’s a rare and acquired taste.

  4. Doug Brown September 9, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    We defer to your experience Michael.

  5. Tevis Sample September 9, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    What I want to know is, how did that lady get such long eyelashes? That’s amazing! Hey… Wait just a minute…

  6. Doug Brown September 9, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Looks like the old pull-the-nose-hairs-out-through-the-eyeballs trick to me…

  7. Amy September 9, 2011 at 6:09 pm #

    I love the comments on my “Me” page that say “your opinion on this matter is unique” or “i would love to read more about this”. Makes me feel like I am so much more interesting than I really am!

  8. Doug Brown September 9, 2011 at 7:07 pm #

    Amy you must get similar spam buddies dropping in. Have you been courted by Albino Midget Amputee Porn yet?

  9. Doug Brown September 9, 2011 at 7:16 pm #

    Now this is truly odd: the entire post got picked up and filtered through a spammer. Now it sounds as if it was written by someone who doesn’t speak English: http://bit.ly/nqJeob
    Anyone know what this is?

  10. Amy September 10, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    What the heck was that? It’s like Inception – spam within spam!

  11. Doug Brown September 10, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    You see what I mean? A lot of freaky shit out there…

  12. Lindsey Maloney September 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    We just had some lovely insight from a “loyal Eclipse blog reader” on our ‘Content’ blog post.

    “Some time before, I did need to buy a car for my corporation but I did not earn enough money and could not order anything. Thank heaven my comrade proposed to get the credit loans from reliable creditors. Thus, I acted so and was happy with my bank loan.”

    Just the kind of info I was hoping for whilst reading about advertising and content.

    • Doug Brown September 16, 2011 at 6:33 pm #

      Guess what Lindsey: your comment went straight to the spam box! I think the link may have been flagged by Akismet. Great to see the Eclipse blog post readers are as dedicated as ours. 😉

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