Hostile aliens attack advertising agencies

10 Jul

Aliens attacking earth illustration

Poor advertising people.

First we have our ideas Frankensteined, and then hot on those heavy heels we are set upon by hostile Aliens.

An Alien is a suggestion that arrives unexpectedly from another universe. You don’t know quite what to do with it because you don’t understand it. It has domination and conquest on its mind.

A useful example: When I had a certain unnamed province-wide car dealership as a client, I presented a charming little spot that involved a couple dumping Slurpees in front of their truck in the summer and then driving gleefully back and forth over them – to suggest their impatience for winter to arrive. My clients – a boardroom full of them – nodded throughout the spot. When I was finished describing it, one of the gentlemen asked me why there wasn’t a dog in the spot. Why didn’t I think of it?

After all, he concluded, people like dogs.

Classic Alien attack.

The strategy is to cause a disabling crossover in your neurotransmitters, so that you are either rendered speechless and unable to mount a proper defence, or you counter-attack without thinking, and open yourself up to the full power of the Alien arsenal. I was young and callow and fell into the trap: “Well, hey, why not an elephant?’ I retorted. “People like elephants too!”

These days I would play the retort through my brain a few times before running an aggressive electrical impulse interference instead:

“How do we feel about your logo then? Perhaps a tad bigger?”


2 Responses to “Hostile aliens attack advertising agencies”

  1. Christie July 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    I feel like I am slightly better prepared for when this happens to me now. Thanks for the intel, and the chuckle 🙂

    • Doug Brown July 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

      Despite my bravado, I don’t think you are ever really prepared for an alien attack Christie. You get covered in green goo no matter how it goes.

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