Flatulence absorbing underwear needs a better name

26 Oct

Fart Free underwear Shreddies

Sorry folks, but it’s not everyday that someone introduces underwear that smothers the smell of farts. My brand brain starts to spin out of control.

The UK company responsible for this laudable innovation employs the same technology that goes into goes into chemical warfare suits. A pad of activated carbon cloth sits in a little rear door panel.  The pad can actually absorb up to 200 times the smell of the worst flatulence you (not me, of course) can dish out.

The only thing missing here is a better name than Shreddies, which is how they’re being marketed in the UK. So I’m throwing it out to my loyal readers to come up with some suggestions.

The winning entrant will receive a free pair of these must-have first-date accessories.

I will get the ball rolling: Fart Catchers.

Ok, your turn.

 

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37 Responses to “Flatulence absorbing underwear needs a better name”

  1. Carol October 26, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    Skunk Trunks?
    Utter NonScents?

    • Doug Brown October 26, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

      Could even shorten that second one to NonScents!! Beautiful Carol. Two entries no less!

      • Carol October 26, 2013 at 4:32 pm #

        Yep, shorter is better!

      • Carol October 26, 2013 at 4:35 pm #

        Hey – happy birthday by the way!

      • Doug Brown October 26, 2013 at 5:00 pm #

        Thanks Carol. I see you have competition now for the Grand Prize!

  2. Maureen Blaseckie October 26, 2013 at 4:38 pm #

    Sneakers

    • Doug Brown October 26, 2013 at 5:01 pm #

      HAHA!

    • Carol October 26, 2013 at 5:06 pm #

      Love it!

  3. Stefanie Grieser October 26, 2013 at 7:03 pm #

    Silent But Sexy

    • Doug Brown October 26, 2013 at 7:10 pm #

      Making farts sexy. Nice one Stef!

  4. Doug Brown October 26, 2013 at 7:19 pm #

    Product innovation idea for the folks at Shreddies: What if the carbon pad was coated with a fragrance that was heat activated? Imagine the fun you could have! Strawberry farts, musk, cinnamon… Hey Cinnamon Buns!

    OK I’m done now, thanks.

  5. Peter Chen October 26, 2013 at 8:26 pm #

    Panty Farthing, the new British scentsation.

    Scenty, the scent less panty.

    I will also suggest to include sound absorption technology in version 2.0.

    • Doug Brown October 26, 2013 at 8:36 pm #

      I’m not calling my knickers panties Peter haha! Thanks for the entries and good luck scoring the free gear.

      I love your idea of sound absorption. I can only imagine how much embarrassment that would have saved me in high school. 🙂

  6. shannon melnyk October 26, 2013 at 9:35 pm #

    “Toot Sweets” … “Toot Suites” … “Winderwear” … “Toot Chutes” … Blast blocker briefs… “Windless Wonderwear”

    • Doug Brown October 26, 2013 at 9:44 pm #

      Shannon, I can see you really want that prize! 😉

      I think Toot Sweets will be a contender.

      I am going to put all the names to a public vote of course. Thanks for the great entries!

  7. Peter Chen October 26, 2013 at 9:59 pm #

    I got it.

    Under-wAir: underwear for unwanted air.

    Only if I can spark the same creativity towards my furniture design.

    Peter

    • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 4:31 am #

      Maybe chairs with those carbon pads in the seat covers?

  8. Scott McDonald (@ScottinVictoria) October 26, 2013 at 10:45 pm #

    Fart be Gones
    FartNots
    Deodorwear – Fart with confidence!
    Fart Busters
    Fart Aways

    におうなんて、言わせない下着だ。新発売!(If you need a Japanese angle…)

    Ever meet that person that sucks the oxygen right out of the room? Well, say hello to their underwear!

    Scott

    • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 4:33 am #

      I laughed out loud at the Japanese one! (I’m assuming it’s funny Scott….)
      Thanks for the names – Fart is definitely your word now.

      • Scott McDonald (@ScottinVictoria) October 27, 2013 at 9:28 am #

        It must be, Kazuyo laughed, and she rarely laughs at my material! Tears….yes….. 😉

      • Scott McDonald (@ScottinVictoria) October 27, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

        It’s always been my word Doug – people around me (sadly for them) state that it defines me even!

      • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 12:47 pm #

        And now we all know. Thanks Scott. See you soon (from a distance)!

  9. Peter Chen October 26, 2013 at 10:47 pm #

    One more.

    unawair; unawear; (unaware)

    • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 4:34 am #

      The wearer will be Wellawear – but everyone else will be Unawear. 😉

  10. JDL October 27, 2013 at 12:00 am #

    “The Back Nine”

    • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 4:34 am #

      Thanks JDL, sports references are solid. Er…

  11. Susan October 27, 2013 at 11:50 am #

    Fluff Savors

    • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 11:52 am #

      I was hoping we would see some respect paid to “fluff”, thanks Susan.

      • Susan October 27, 2013 at 12:10 pm #

        Flats on the Run. Carbon Care His and Hers, Carbon Control Briefs , Fartsy Wear w Carbon Control 😀

      • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 12:12 pm #

        Going for it!!

  12. Tom Hudock October 27, 2013 at 12:36 pm #

    Fluff-pourri. Put these on before you go and no one else will ever know.

    They’re for your panties or your briefs, saves you from the squeezing motif.

    • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

      Fluff-Pourri. Tom I can see the expanded messaging already. Encourage the passing of wind to freshen the room!

      • Tom Hudock October 27, 2013 at 12:54 pm #

        They could stand behind people (safely) who are tired of holding back because of societal pressure. Start a movement even. And I don’t mean the bowel kind.

      • Doug Brown October 27, 2013 at 1:02 pm #

        Every movement needs a name Tom….

  13. Reece November 8, 2013 at 2:05 pm #

    How about just “IE”, because they take the unwanted “linger” out of your “lingerie”. 😉 Thanks Doug for the good laugh.

    • Doug Brown November 8, 2013 at 7:03 pm #

      There’s a marketing mind at work! Thanks Teresa.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. It’s a dead heat | Brand Intervention - October 30, 2013

    […] have a 3-way tie for first place in the Rename the Shreddies contest, which is rather inconvenient.  Shreddies are the UK underwear that absorb noxious […]

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